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Sausage Police tagged posts

Diapers? Really? Who Ya Crappin’?

Diapers? Really? Who Ya Crappin’?

Last Monday the fate of sausage in the free world found itself under siege once again! Today we can all rest a little easier, thanks to the efforts of Scout and Emma, employees of the Canadian Border Patrol. (Funny, they don’t look like sausage dogs!)

Scout and Emma sniffed out a dastardly attempt to illegally smuggle sausage into Canada. Four kilos of sausage were found inside the luggage of a passenger arriving at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport on a flight from El Salvador. Authorities discovered “three packages of sausage links that were well-concealed in layers [of] plastic, aluminum foil, paper and diapers.”

Per the Canadian Border Patrol, ‘Smuggling sausages in diapers will not work.’

At Sausagefest...

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Sausagefest Travel Warning: Bradford, England

If You Love Sausage, Stay Away From Bradford, England

Here’s another disturbing story from across the pond and let me tell you, this one has Billy all lathered up! As a service to our visitors and to sausage lovers everywhere, we have issued our first “Sausagefest Travel Warning.

It has become abundantly clear that Bradford, England, is no longer a safe haven for sausage lovers. It’s not even safe for the birds! Within a short period of time and right before our eyes, Bradford has deteriorated into a sausage police state. While the U.S. State Department sits on its hands and watches, Bradford continues to inflict pain on its sausage loving citizens. Like a schoolyard bully, it won’t stop until someone stands up, pins it down and says “No more!”

Bradford’s latest acti...

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Sausage Search and Seizure — A Dark Day for Sausage

Warning: What follows is a disturbing sausage story from across the pond!

Last September Shirley Manor Primary Academy in Bradford, England, implemented a new policy which bans Sausage Rolls from packed lunches!

In this BBC News article, entitled “Bradford School bans sausage rolls from packed lunches,” we learn about the school’s anti-sausage stance:

Solar eclipse image

Photo by Justin Dickey on Unsplash

“The policy says pupils are encouraged to show their packed lunches to staff before and after they have eaten.

It states pork pies, sausage rolls and pepperoni sticks should not be included and neither should fruit squash or flavoured water.”

The school’s sausage police will call parents if banned items are found in packed lunches.

As you most likely guessed, it didn’t take long for ...

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