First, lets toss out the dubious quote often attributed to Otto Von Bismarck about sausage making and politics. There’s no reliable historical source that documents that “Gesetze sind wie Würste, man sollte besser nicht dabei sein, wenn sie gemacht warden” was ever uttered by Otto.
Now with that moldy old false fact put aside, we can bring to your attention some notable thoughts on sausage and the human condition.
“Lawsuit: a machine, which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.”
—Ambrose Bierce
“Many men are like sausages; whatever you stuff them with, that they will bear in them.”
—Aleksey Konstantinovich Tolstoy
“A party is like a sausage machine, it grinds up all sorts of heads together into the same baloney.”
—Henrik Ibsen
“Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize that it’s not worth buying an entire pig to get a little sausage.”
—Andy Rooney
“A sausage is an image of rest, peace and tranquility in stark contrast to the destruction and chaos of everyday life.”
—Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction
“Profits, like sausages… are esteemed most by those who know least about what goes into them.”
—Alvin Toffler
“He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease.”
—Henry James
“Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.”
—Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction
“Somebody should have to pay for turning literature into sausage.”
—Russell Baker
“To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.”
—Anthony Bourdain
It’s fine if MSNBC and FOX have a war of words over whose leading us to Armageddon. Given recent history there’s ample proof neither political party could even lead us to Armageddon successfully – so color us doubtful.
But, the never ending heat wave across the whole country, too much television (who wants go outside?), and political hyperbole around the deficit is a toxic cocktail that’s been slipped into our drinking supply.
The last two weeks in talks with the leadership from both sides of the aisle has worn me out from the sausage making process. It was ugly, perverse and disgusting.
–Kent Antonius, Editor & Publisher
I think these noxious cocktails are especially affecting the media folks you want to give us the inside scoop on Washington deal making. Or, maybe its just sloppy rhetorical skills, which seems more likely.
I won’t go through the laundry list of media people and elected officials who have uttered these mean spirited and demeaning remarks, but the utterance goes like this:
“The last two weeks in talks with the leadership from both sides of the aisle has worn me out from the sausage making process. It was ugly, perverse and disgusting.”
This analogy of politics to sausage making gets attributed to Otto Von Bismarck. There’s not a lot of evidence that he actually said it, but it gives a speaker citing this a thin veneer of authority to dismiss politics and sausage making at the same time.
It is time for us realize that sausage making today is not the sausage making of Bismarck’s day.
While the politics and the avarice of Bismarck’s day are no better than in 2011, sausage making has actually made significant progress. If you talk to any sausage maker you would know this. I’m in the process of writing a book about sausage makers in America. I hear this in my conversations with sausage makers. Quality ingredients, hard work and attention to detail are damn important. If you don’t get the weight, meat portions, temperature, pH, curing agents and seasonings right you have an un-edible meat experiment.
Unlike our political leaders professional sausage makers have to pass health inspections by state, local or federal inspectors. How many politicians could pass a health inspection?
Sausage makers 1 vs. Politicians 0 👍
Ingredients in the sausage have to be plainly labeled and poor ingredients won’t make for a good product or happy customer. When’s the last time a politician labeled their personal ingredients? (I will admit that thanks to the Federal government, we did get to see the ingredients that made up Rod Blagojevich.)
Sausage makers 2 vs. Politicians 0 👍👍
You can find sausage makers in your hometown who have shops on Main Street. They’re accountable to their customers everyday. Amazingly, you can sample stuff before you buy it and only buy as much as you want. And, these folks are often there six days a week or seven and you never see them on television. You might even want to invite them to your cookout. Do you really want an elected official anywhere near where you’re eating?
Sausage makers 3 vs. Politicians 0 👍👍👍
The facts are in and sausages and sausage making is not comparable to the US political process. Its fine with me if a commentator looks down their nose at politicians or their process, but denigrating sausage making has to stop.
Here’s a simple proposal. Let’s finally divorce politics from sausage making final.
Let’s declare the Saturday of Labor Day weekend Sausage Day in America – forever more. This year September 1st is the second annual Sausage Day in America and the Labor Day holiday wraps around it perfectly like a bun around a hot dog.
To honor this blue collar event there are two requirements:
• No one talks politics this day – why ruin a holiday?
• Go to your local sausage shop and buy some great sausage – and enjoy a sausage without the political BS.
This recipe is easy to assemble – even if you have too many tailgate beers before hand. On the plus side, it’s very good eating and works very well for a group of people where the cholesterol content can be split among many.
Sausagefest, football, beer…it’s a trifecta hard to beat.
Yield: 4
Italian Beef/Sausage Pinwheel
Ingredients
1 Roll Pizza crust, Thin crust works well; thick crust holds more poundage better.
1 to 1.5 Pounds Italian beef with au jus
1 to 1.5 Pounds Italian sausage, Get the bulk ground sausage; hot or sweet your choice
1 Pound Shredded cheese (Mozzarella), I would suggest the skim milk kind but who am I kidding – use what you like
Giardiniera, Go hot – it’s wintertime. If you’re weak and morally questionable, mild will do.
Instructions
Cook the Beef (save the au jus for dipping)
Cook the Sausage (If links slice them to 1/8” thick pieces, if ground keep it broke up as small as possible – makes it easier to roll)
Roll out the pizza crust on a non-stick pan ( spray down an oversized sheet of aluminum foil with spray oil. This makes it easier to roll without having the sides of the pan in the way. Fold up the sides of the foil to “make” a pan to keep any juices from running out and into the oven)
Add a layer of cheese (about half of the cheese) on the crust (try to keep all layers of cheese and meat about ½” to 1” from all edges of the crust so you have room to roll & “seal” without stuff falling out. )
Add a layer of beef (all of it)
Add a layer of sausage (all of it)
Add giardiniera (and/or pepperoncini, banana peppers, jalapenos, habaneros are all welcome to join)
Add a second layer of cheese
Roll the crust like you would roll up a tarpaulin. It’s going to be a large rolled football size thing. Keep it as tightly as you can without ripping it.
Cooking tip:
If you have sturdy foil you can use it like one of the “cigarette rolling machines” to pull an even wrap. Make sure to end with the tag end/seam on the bottom and then fold the two ends underneath.
Poke a few fork holes in the top so you don’t have a blow out. Cook the football for however long the crust instructions call for (usually 15-17 minutes) or until the crust is golden brown on top.
You can give the top a nice egg wash to give it a pretzel bread look. If the game is at hand or this seems to effete, never mind this add-on step.
Let it cool for a few minutes before cutting (slices hold together much better if they are 1-1/2” to 2” wide and don’t cut them in half lengthwise (you lose the pinwheel effect).
Grab a slice, dip it in the au jus that you saved, drink your favorite beverage. If you have any left over spaghetti sauce, you can use that as your dip as well.
Additional Suggestions: You can also add chopped onions, mushrooms, olives and green peppers to the filling. It’s in concept a pizza with the crust on the outside.
Notes
Bon appetite!
Thanks to Dave M. of Wilmette, Ill for this great recipe.
November brings the first serious chill to many parts of the country. Sausage Alla Botto fits the bill of being hearty and filling, and if you use hot Italian sausage, you can add some additional warmth.
For this recipe we want to say Thanks to the C.W. Brown Company. They are the oldest sausage making company in the state of New Jersey. They are located in Mount Royal, New Jersey (about 30 minutes from Philadelphia) where they started their sausage business in 1887. You can read more about them at:
Yield: 4
Sausage Alla Botto
Ingredients
1 pack Botto's Sweet or Hot Italian Sausage, If you can’t use Botto’s sausage, substitute in your local favorite Italian sausage.
3 Large Mushrooms, sliced
1/4 cup Sliced Pepperoncini
2 tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Roma Plum Tomato
1/4 cup Diced Onion
2 tablespoons Diced Garlic
1/2 cup Dry White Wine
1 tablespoon Diced Parsley Fresh
6 Basil Leaves Diced Fresh
2 tablespoons Grated Romano Cheese
Salt and Pepper, Salt and pepper to taste.
Instructions
First, make a decision on going with sweet or hot Italian sausage. Once you do that, place the Italian sausage and bake in oven until fully cooked. Cook at 350 for 30 minutes or so – check to make sure you get the doneness level you want. Some people like sausage more crispy, some like less done – just make sure its fully cooked. Let sauté and flavors blend.
In a large sauté pan heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil and add sliced garlic, diced onion, sliced mushroom, pepperoncini and diced plum tomatoes.
Cut the sausage in half inch slices and add to sauté Pan.
Season with salt and pepper, fresh basil and parsley to taste and a tablespoon of grated Romano cheese.
When everything is sautéed evenly add a half cup of white wine and reduce half way and serve.
Notes
Thanks to Enrico Botto, the Chef/Owner of CW Brown for suggesting this hearty warming dish for November.By the way, we tried this recipe at home and found a few red pepper chili flakes added a little more warmth. You might like to add that in for a bit more warmth.
Thirty-three miles west of downtown Chicago, is Naperville, Illinois. Naperville has a lot to recommend it.
It’s the fourth largest city in Illinois. According to Niche (www.niche.com), Naperville is usually in the top rankings for best places to live in the US. Niche puts a lot its focus on educational institutions, but they don’t have much to say about sausage and beer infrastructure.
Here at Sausagefest, we have those priorities in mind and want to suggest that on your next visit to Naperville you pay a lengthy visit to Miskatonic Brewing Craft Kitchen.
When we stopped in for lunch the brewery sign got us in the door. What kept us there for 90 minutes was the interesting menu, the ample beer choices and our chance to talk sausage with their Executive Chef, Daniel Davis.
First off, it’s not very often you encounter a first-rate brewery with a menu that headlines five sausages. This is not the menu where the Italian sausage sandwich is batting ninth after the Monte Cristo sandwich. Nope, the font is big and it’s very obvious even to the home-schooled that Miskatonic is serious about sausage.
5 Housemade Sausages
Having been to more than several breweries around this country, it’s not unusual to see some sausage item on a menu. At a few places, you might see a Sausage Sampler. Great Lakes Brewpub, (Cleveland) offers that entrée. But mostly, sausage sandwiches are NOT the headline items. Don’t take this the wrong way, but Miskatonic doesn’t hide their pride for their sausage.
You don’t see Hungarian sausage batting third on too many brewpub menus. It’s also too often the case that it’s the great forgotten Hall of Fame sausage – like the Harold Baines of the sausage world. How can a sausage be bad when you load it up with Hungarian paprika that gives it that copper-red mystique.
The thing about Hungarian sausage is that it’s not Italian sausage or chorizo. We’ve grown up with both of those sausages but Hungarian? Did chorizo and the Italian sausage have a child? What seasoning can give you that eye-striking hue of redness? Paprika you say. Isn’t there a sweet paprika and a hot paprika? And where exactly on the Scoville meter is the melting point of this sausage? Oh, screw it – just order it and be done with it.
As you can see from the picture below, Miskatonic doesn’t believe in the less is more idea. There is far more sausage than there is bun. Horseradish crema covers the top, a Basque piperada (a fancy way to say, onions, peppers, tomatoes spiced up with Espelette pepper) and a stone ground mustard fills the bottom of the bun. But none of these complimentary condiments detract from the Hungarian sausage. A Hall of Fame sausage can play with almost any supporting cast. The meat in the casing was well grounded, flavorful and certainly enough paprika to tell you this is not a chorizo or Italian sausage you’re dealing with.
Miskatonic Hungarian Sausage
When you are faced with this impressive sight, you need to shift priorities. The first priority was to get all the sausage consumed while artfully slathering each piece with the piperade. The bun and fries could wait. The first drink ordered was the St. Henry (an abbey-style quadruple ale) that was very good. But I guzzled that too fast to see it through to the end of the meal. Fortunately, Will (our guide and server) suggested I move to their Jabberbocky (doppelbock).
Will and Daniel, the Pros at Miskatonic
I was momentarily disoriented by the Lewis Carroll association. But Will landed me the doppelbock quickly. (You don’t want to go down the Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole while you’re also confronted by HP Lovecraft references in the restaurant name. That’s too literary of an environment when you have great sausage in front of you.) The pairing of the Hungarian spice went very well with the rich malty flavor of the Jabberbocky.
We also ordered a salad thinking we would be halfway healthy (see picture below). As eye-pleasing as the Hungarian plate was the spinach and strawberry salad was beautiful. But the sausage won out. We polished off the sausage, picked at the salad and had it for dinner later. The fries were good and the pickle was above average. They were good role players and helped the superstar shine.
Vegan Friendly Option
One Hungarian sausage did us both in. Okay, we had some help with the beers, but the salad was not too much a factor. If you have a vegan in your party, the salads look outstanding.
Final Thoughts: Chef Daniel comes from the Publican Quality Meats (PQM) group and that high level experience and training shows up in his menu. He lists a number of quality local Midwest food and farm sources and that bodes well for Miskatonic’s future success. Quality inputs, quality food preparation get you quality food output.
I usually don’t lean to doppelbocks and abbey-style ales, but they each had a depth of flavor that was very good and long lasting. Both easily went with the Hungarian sausage and would no doubt go well with the other sausages.
They had more than ten beers on tap and a healthy cocktail list if you go there on a day when you are “beered out”.
Our Rating: Worth repeating the experience soon – three sausages out of three sausages
At Sausagefest.com we applaud and salute LadBaby and their No 1 UK hit song “I Love Sausage Rolls!” It’s a spoof of the famous Joan Jett hit “I Love Rock and Roll” only with sausage. What could be better, you ask? What could possibly be cooler than sausage and rock and roll? Well, maybe beer and sausage and rock and roll but that’s a minor quibble.
Even more amazing is that LadBaby also reached No 1 last year with their hit song “We Built This City …on Sausage Rolls!” According to the article, “The money from last year’s single provided 70,000 three-day emergency food parcels.” We think that’s wonderful.
We at Sausagefest.com are increasingly aware that the sausage world is constantly under attack, most recently by an elected official in Scotland. Paisley Southeast Independent Councillor Paul Mack has called for Marks & Spencers Love Sausage to be removed from Renfrewshire outlets! Marks & Spencers Love Sausage is a heart shaped, bacon wrapped sausage, which was marketed as a Valentine’s Day special.
This Daily Record article entitled “Controversial Paisley councillor takes aim at Marks & Spencer’s ‘Love Sausage’…” details the Councillor’s misguided attempt to ban the sausage. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed. Per the article, “Conservative Councillor Tom Begg jumped to the defence of M&S in a response to [Mack’s] email,” adding “I can think of nothing more romantic than two Cumberland sausages wrapped in pastry (sic) in the shape of a heart for dinner in the evening of St Valentine’s Day.”
“I can think of nothing more romantic than two Cumberland sausages wrapped in pastry (sic) in the shape of a heart for dinner in the evening of St Valentine’s Day.”
Councillor Mack is no stranger to controversy. According to this Mirror article, “In October 2016, Councillor Mack was grilled by the watchdog after he claimed a council-funded trip to Germany was an excuse for his colleagues ‘going on the lash and playing hide the Frankfurter’.” The Mirror article provides further information about the good Councillor’s “expenses paid junket to Germany”.
Despite Mack’s protests the Love Sausage is safe, at least for the time being. Still, the Councillor’s actions represent yet another uncalled for and senseless attack on sausage. Perhaps he would be better off hiding Frankfurter in Germany.
For the love of sausage Councillor, leave our sausage alone!
After 19 years there were still new things to see and experience:
The first time it rained on Sausagefest in 19 years; about 15 minutes of hard rain (not that anyone in the wine tent cared).
Addison’s First Sausagefest
Our granddaughter Addison attended her first Sausagefest! (See picture at right.)
Fewer than four wine glasses broke – a new record.
The largest number of lazy-RSVP’s to ever attend; we had 51 RSVPs but 82 people attended.
For the first time ever, we had ten bottles of wine left over. That never happens, but it did this year.
A spectacular array of desserts was gifted to the Fest – and we thank all the people with baking skills.
The first time we had sausage from Taiwan.
For the first time ever we have co-champions in both Home Made and Store Bought sausage categories.
For the first time ever, sisters are champions in two different categories. Dawn and Donna congrats (the awards follow below).
Some Measures Worth Sharing:
30 bottles of wines were consumed; mostly red mostly older, mostly first tier wines. It’s what Sausagefest has turned into – a wine fest with sausage as the lead act, but wine as a main course.
34 sausages, well, 33 got on the grill Saturday night but the 34th sausage was grilled less than 24 hours later and that is a story worth telling.
82 people with 16 people who were new to the fest; good to see new faces and new friends.
Beer Survives Rainstorm
The beer count exceeded 200 cans/bottles and the variety pointed out that we live in the golden age of beer in America. Which leads to this axiom: “Beer choice increases in proportion to the scale of repulsiveness of domestic politics.” We will call this, “The alcohol to deviancy continuum”.
Awards and Thank You Mentions
The Thank You list has these people in gold letters: Shawn and Will for their grill work; Kellen for mastering the sausage registration desk; Tom for his bartending skills in the wine tent; Kathleen for some beautifully inscribed Sausagefest 19 wine goblets; Kathy for being the Master Organizer as usual; Richie for the wonderful bottles of Turley and Chappelet; to all the attendees for ignoring the rain and partying on.
Sausagefest 2017 Operations Team
Champion Home Made Sausage Artist for 2017
First Place – Tie – Homemade Category
Paul and Joy Munson for the Romanian Mititei sausage
Dawn Tuttle for the Merguez, a North African lamb sausage.
Both sausages were delicious and it was too hard to choose which one was better. I can tell you that both sausages were terrific with a glass of Turley Zin.
First Place – Tie – Store Bought Category
Steve Zimmerman who brought Louisiana Hot sausage from the Butcher on the Block (Lake in the Hills, Ill.).
Donna Kastning who brought Atomic Sausages from Johnny’s G (Bloomingdale, Ill)
This is Steve’s second win in a row for this category. Last year was his first fest and he obviously knows how to scout for sausage. Donna brought Atomic sausages from Johnny G’s a couple years ago but this vintage was stunningly sadomasochistic with its hotness.
First Place: Sausage Casserole Category
Fresh over retirement rituals, it was good to see Casey Wasilewski get out of rehab in time to assemble the ambrosia of his Polish Sausage and Sauerkraut casserole. Casey is to Polish Sausage Casserole as John Wooden was to college basketball. Every year it’s the same old winning team. The piranhas were circling his large bowl as he set it down on the buffet table. It’s hard to count nanoseconds, but the bowl was licked clean very quickly. I can’t believe there weren’t serious knife and fork injuries for the all the silverware that were thrust into such a small area.
The Baked Beans Champion
Susan G year after year sees her baked beans disappear as quickly as they are set out. The piranha thing again. This year I never got a whiff of them.
The Best Sausage to Not Make The Grill
The next day we had one sausage that did not get cooked. We think this was a happy mistake. The sausages were from Taiwanese Lap Ceung sausages. We are grateful to rookie fest goer, David Nealis for bringing these delicious gems to the event. We will have to find more of them quickly. They were made of smoked meat and seasoned with the spices you associate with Chinese cuisine. I won’t attempt to guess at all the seasoning. But, when warmed up on the grill it was like eating bacon candy – with some soy overtones. Pretty amazing stuff.
David, when you comeback from China to Fest #20, bring a lot more.
Dessert Notes
Kudos to Joyce for bringing terrific Key Lime pie – the real stuff. Nice counter part to the sausage entrees.
This just in from the “One person’s sausage is another’s poison” department:
The Problem
Hayley Higgins, a “mum of four” from Norris Green, Liverpool, dared to look a gift sausage in the mouth and now must be held accountable. Manna from heaven, in the form of sausage and chips, showed up at her door on Christmas Eve. Instead of thanking her lucky stars for this stroke of sausage serendipity she put up a big fuss because she didn’t get the pigs in blankets, roast potatoes and sprouts she had ordered weeks in advance. Ms. Higgins was the benefactor of a huge holiday sausage upgrade and didn’t even realize it! Her good fortune was twofold: In addition to getting sausage for Christmas, she no longer needed to choke down sprouts and pretend to like them.
Rather than thanking Asda, the grocer who provided the wonderful free sausage upgrade, she disparaged their good name even though they apologized and later delivered the items she initially ordered.
The Solution
What an outrage! Repulsive, sad and misguided! Ms. Higgins is certainly no friend of sausage. When we at Sausagefest.com see sausage being treated so poorly we feel duty-bound to speak out. We recommend immediate enrollment in sausage remediation courses for Ms. Higgins, as well as as a good dose of sausage sensitivity training. We can only hope that she does not pass her misguided sausage hatred on to the next generation of sausage lovers.
Needless to say, this sausage ingrate has earned her spot on the Wall of Sausage Shame.
After a photo of a naked butcher preparing sausages appeared on Facebook, Australian authorities have vowed to get to the bottom of the story. They seek nothing but the bare facts and will not ass-ume anything. Nothing shall “hinder” their efforts to expose the naked truth.
The butcher has been terminated from his employment and a meat recall has been issued.
It would be easy to “crack” a butt joke here but the naked butcher has enough problems without being made the butt of a sausage joke. Besides, this is no laughing matter! We have already issued a travel warning for Adelaide, where a supermarket sold “Free Country Anus Beef Sausage.” At this point we’re not sure whether there’s a connection between the naked butcher and the special sausage sold near Adelaide. Whether these two stories are isolated incidents or are perhaps indicative of a larger pattern of bad sausage behavior in Australia has yet to be determined. We are bummed either way. It appears that sausage in the Land Down Under has hit bottom!
Given the abundance of negative sausage news out there it’s understandable that any sausage lover might start feeling a bit depressed. There’s the sad story of the 22 year old unemployed, hyphenated Floridian who pelted his mom with sausage because she didn’t drop everything and make him a meal. A true candidate for the Sausagefest Wall of Sausage Shame if ever there was. Then there’s the report out of Milwaukee regarding the shutdown of a sausage plant after recalling 13 tons of headcheese due to a listeria threat. Speaking of the Wall of Sausage Shame, there’s this story regarding the German “sausage cartel” that was fined millions for keeping sausage prices artificially inflated for well over a decade. Another example of fine, upstanding corporate behavior in the modern age.
Sausage price fixing? Really? Enough with your corporate dirty tricks. Leave the sausage loving public alone!
–Billy Bratzenbier
Fortunately, it’s not all bad news. We recently discovered a new sausage hero who extols the virtues of variety and moderation, sausage style. And what exactly was Evo Terra’s impressive achievement? Losing 14 pounds in October by sticking to a diet of beer and sausages!
But wait. It gets even better. Dr. Terry Simpson, Evo’s doctor, reported that Evo’s cholesterol levels went down by a third while he was on the diet! Now that’s impressive. Bye-bye, statins. We regret to inform you that you’ve been replaced by sausage and beer. Read all about it in Evo’s book entitled The Beer Diet.
Sure, Evo requires the services of a designated driver due to the liquid portion of his diet but it’s a small price to pay for improved health!
We salute you, Evo! You are a true sausage hero and your story is both inspirational and heartwarming.
In Life Lessons – The Beer Diet, Eric Diaz reports on his personal experience following the Beer Diet. Eric lost 8 pounds in 10 days!
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