January 12/2018
Commentary
According to this article from The Guardian by Julia Carrie Wong, “Extreme temperatures across the east coast are causing cold-blooded reptiles to ‘shut down’ in Florida, while elsewhere sharks and penguins are feeling the chill.”
So alligator lizards are falling from the air? Maybe I should write a song about that … sorry, too little, too late Billy! The band America already sang about that back in the seventies. You probably remember America. They’re the band who became famous singing about heat that was hot. People found it hard to disagree with that. Forty six years later and heat is still hot. Except in Florida. With frozen iguanas falling from the sky, it couldn’t have been very hot in Florida.
Besides the frigid temps, other strange things are happening in Florida. Last month I wrote about frozen sausages falling out of the sky in Florida. Now it’s the iguanas turn.
So how do you deal with this, what do you do? Well, Billy ain’t exactly a Boy Scout, that’s for sure. But he’s down with their motto “Be Prepared.” He’s visiting Florida in a couple weeks and needs to prepare.
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For the benefit of others planning to visit the Sunshine State here’s Billy’s “Lizard Blizzard” Three Step Plan:
No matter if it’s raining frozen lizards or frozen sausages, your sausage helmet will protect you whether you take a hit on your left brain or your right brain or both.
Remember, the frozen iguanas are still alive so it’s best just to leave them alone and let them defrost and recover naturally. Besides, Billy’s planning a vacation not an iguana safari!
If you happen to get caught in a frozen sausage rain, keep reading.
2) Pack your recipes.
For the right brained: This oureverydaylife.com article by Natalie Smith is presented as a narrative and answers the question “Can You Cook Sausage When It Is Still Frozen?”
For the left brained: Ellen Douglas shares this recipe in her article entitled “How to Cook Frozen Sausages” on Livestrong.com. It is broken down into steps and is quite direct.
3) Heed the sage advice from this Japanese horror movie: “Don’t Look Up!”
Florida Iguana Rain