December 15/2017
Commentary
From The “Don’t Look A Gift Sausage In The Mouth Department”
“Florida family stumped after 15 pounds of sausage falls on house” is the title of this article from ABC15 News.
Earlier this year 15 pounds of frozen Italian sausage mysteriously fell on a family home in Florida. Was the sausage dropped from a plane? Did it fall out of a sleigh? Were Santa’s elves playing with slingshots at their annual summer barbecue a few doors down? It’s likely we’ll never know.
Whatever caused the family to suspect that their lucky meatfall was part of a drug deal is beyond me. If 15 pounds of sausage fell on my house, I’d take it as proof that Sausage Claus exists. Instead of firing up conspiracy theories, I’d fire up the grill but that’s just me, Billy Bratzenbier.
Yes, Virginia, There Is A Sausage Claus