Toronto Sausage Smuggler places #3 on the Wall of Sausage Shame!    Sausage Alert: New travel warning issued for Adelaide, Australia!    Stop by Billy's Brat Stand for sausage rants, ramblings and diatribes by Billy Bratzenbier, Sausagefest's roving/raving editor!    Sausage Alert: Sausagefest Travel Warning: Bradford, England! Click for details!    Join Kent on the sausage trail! Check out our new Sausage Trail Reports page.    Visit the Sausage Storage archive for past reviews of Sausagefest.    Thanks for visiting Sausagefest.com, the Sausage Portal For The Free World!    Support Sausagefest by clicking our sponsor ads and links!

Billy Bratzenbier tagged posts

Diapers? Really? Who Ya Crappin’?

Diapers? Really? Who Ya Crappin’?

Last Monday the fate of sausage in the free world found itself under siege once again! Today we can all rest a little easier, thanks to the efforts of Scout and Emma, employees of the Canadian Border Patrol. (Funny, they don’t look like sausage dogs!)

Scout and Emma sniffed out a dastardly attempt to illegally smuggle sausage into Canada. Four kilos of sausage were found inside the luggage of a passenger arriving at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport on a flight from El Salvador. Authorities discovered “three packages of sausage links that were well-concealed in layers [of] plastic, aluminum foil, paper and diapers.”

Per the Canadian Border Patrol, ‘Smuggling sausages in diapers will not work.’

At Sausagefest...

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Microsoft Sausage Love

Hot Dog Stand
Remembering “Hot Dog Stand”
Once Upon A Time, A Long Time Ago

Once upon a time, a long time ago, a company named Microsoft included a free and unique theme in its Windows 3.1 product. That theme was entitled “Hot Dog Stand” and is considered by some to be among the ugliest Windows themes ever. This TheNextWeb article entitled “World’s worst theme proves Microsoft once had sense of humor” provides more info, as well as a screenshot of the “Hot Dog Stand” theme.

Microsoft products have been around during most of Billy’s adult life and he’s no stranger to software application programs like MS-SQL Server, MS-Exchange Server and MS-Office. If implemented and integrated properly, those software packages can significantly improve business productivity.

In the digital rea...

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Sausagefest Travel Warning: Adelaide, South Australia

Rusted skull and cross bones danger sign

Adelaide’s Anus Beef Sausages Triggered A Sausagefest Travel Warning

For The Love Of All Things Sausage, Avoid Adelaide!

This recent news item from the land down under prompted us to issue yet another “Sausagefest Travel Warning.

You: This sausage really tastes like cr@p!

Your Aussie Friend: Well mate, what do you expect? You ordered an Anus Beef Sausage!

Per this Daily Mail article, “A new variety of meat has hit Australian supermarket shelves.” That’s right, Free Country Anus Beef Sausage was seen on the shelves at the Foodland in Valley View, a suburb of Adelaide.

At Sausagefest.com, we love our sausage and celebrate its many different varieties. Butt, enough is enough. Here’s where we draw the line.

You don’t want to go down under … you don’t want to hav...

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Super Bowl Party Food Map

Wait, what? Chex Mix and Pinwheels?

Today the Sausage Feed featured an article by Jonathan Raymond about Super Bowl party foods. “It’s not wings: States’ favorite Super Bowl party foods revealed.” For those who may not know, The Sausage Feed is “Sausage News For Youse (Guys)” and features all kinds of articles about sausage. You never know what will appear there and it keeps updating so check it out regularly.

Anyway, the Super Bowl party food article caught my eye and now I think I’m getting the short end of the sausage stick, if you know what I mean! Our publisher, Kent Antonious, is flying down to Florida to take in the Super Bowl and to engage in high level sausage and wine talks with Dr Z, our awesome foodie friend and all-around great guy...

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Sausage Spaghetti Western: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Sausage Spaghetti Western: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

To help get you in the proper frame of mind let’s start this off with the theme from “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” by Hugo Montenegro and His Orchestra.

Recent sausage news brings to mind the iconic Spaghetti Western “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” It’s part of the Dollars Trilogy and stars Clint Eastwood and Eli Wallach. Per the IMDB Plot Summary “Blondie (The Good) is a professional gunslinger…Angel Eyes (The Bad) is a hit man…and Tucho (The Ugly) is a wanted outlaw.”

So Billy, what’s that have to do with sausage?

The Good: The Resourceful Butcher

A recent uplifting story featured in US News and World Report tells us about the resourceful butcher who, unfortunately, got locked in a freezer...

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Florida Iguana Rain

Further Frozen Floridan Fallout

According to this article from The Guardian by Julia Carrie Wong, “Extreme temperatures across the east coast are causing cold-blooded reptiles to ‘shut down’ in Florida, while elsewhere sharks and penguins are feeling the chill.”

So alligator lizards are falling from the air? Maybe I should write a song about that … sorry, too little, too late Billy! The band America already sang about that back in the seventies. You probably remember America. They’re the band who became famous singing about heat that was hot. People found it hard to disagree with that. Forty six years later and heat is still hot. Except in Florida. With frozen iguanas falling from the sky, it couldn’t have been very hot in Florida.

Besides the frigid temps, other ...

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Sausagefest Travel Warning: Bradford, England

If You Love Sausage, Stay Away From Bradford, England

Here’s another disturbing story from across the pond and let me tell you, this one has Billy all lathered up! As a service to our visitors and to sausage lovers everywhere, we have issued our first “Sausagefest Travel Warning.

It has become abundantly clear that Bradford, England, is no longer a safe haven for sausage lovers. It’s not even safe for the birds! Within a short period of time and right before our eyes, Bradford has deteriorated into a sausage police state. While the U.S. State Department sits on its hands and watches, Bradford continues to inflict pain on its sausage loving citizens. Like a schoolyard bully, it won’t stop until someone stands up, pins it down and says “No more!”

Bradford’s latest acti...

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Yes, Virginia, There Is A Sausage Claus

From The “Don’t Look A Gift Sausage In The Mouth Department”

Florida family stumped after 15 pounds of sausage falls on house” is the title of this article from ABC15 News.

Earlier this year 15 pounds of frozen Italian sausage mysteriously fell on a family home in Florida. Was the sausage dropped from a plane? Did it fall out of a sleigh? Were Santa’s elves playing with slingshots at their annual summer barbecue a few doors down? It’s likely we’ll never know.

Whatever caused the family to suspect that their lucky meatfall was part of a drug deal is beyond me. If 15 pounds of sausage fell on my house, I’d take it as proof that Sausage Claus exists. Instead of firing up conspiracy theories, I’d fire up the grill but that’s just me, Billy Bratzenbier.

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The Tennis Star, The Butcher and The Sausage Baby

It’s About the Sausage, Baby

This Pedestrian article, entitled Scottish Butcher Celebrates Andy Murray’s Baby With Cursed Sausage Golem describes the unique way that Scottish butcher John Hill celebrated tennis star Andy Murray and his wife Kim’s newborn baby girl. Essentially, he created a sausage baby, so congrats to John Hill on the birth of his sausage baby. More sausage babies means more sausage and that’s a good thing.

The thing about sausage babies is that they make us smile unless they don’t. So how do you send best baby wishes to the parents of a new sausage baby?

  • 🌭 “A sausage baby changes you forever!”
  • 🌭 “Enjoy your sausage baby’s infancy!”
  • 🌭 “The joyful smile on your sausage baby will forever bring you happiness!”

Figuring out the proper sa...

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‘Tis the Season: Sausage Hope and Forgiveness, UK Style

The Advent season is upon us, a season of hope, forgiveness and salvation. Greggs, the UK’s largest bakery chain, is renowned for their sausage rolls. Now they have gained notoriety for their Advent calendar, which this year included a controversial ad featuring a sausage roll. Not just any sausage roll, mind you! This particular sausage roll was depicted lying in a manger, surrounded by wise men. Per this Time article, the “Bakery Apologizes for Replacing Jesus With a Sausage Roll in Nativity Scene.

Some customers took offense, so in the spirit of the season Greggs sought their own hope and forgiveness by issuing an apology. According to Greggs, they never intended to cause any offense by the ad.

It’s Not Over

End of story? Not quite. According to The Independent, a ...

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