January 12/2018  Commentary

To help get you in the proper frame of mind let’s start this off with the theme from “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” by Hugo Montenegro and His Orchestra.

Recent sausage news brings to mind the iconic Spaghetti Western “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” It’s part of the Dollars Trilogy and stars Clint Eastwood and Eli Wallach. Per the IMDB Plot Summary “Blondie (The Good) is a professional gunslinger…Angel Eyes (The Bad) is a hit man…and Tucho (The Ugly) is a wanted outlaw.”

So Billy, what’s that have to do with sausage?

The Good: The Resourceful Butcher

A recent uplifting story featured in US News and World Report tells us about the resourceful butcher who, unfortunately, got locked in a freezer. Despite the perilous situation, Chris McCabe kept his wits about him and found his way out of the freezer. He used a frozen sausage as a battering ram to free himself. Staying cool, calm and sausage-aware helped him to prevail. Good for Mr. McCabe! Chalk up another big win for frozen sausages.

The Bad: Hot Dog Stand Robbery

Per this New York Daily News report, “A 19-year-old who allegedly held up a hot dog stand on Chicago’s South Side ended up firing a round into his own South Side.”

All we ask for is the freedom to buy, sell and consume sausage products without fear of violence, ridicule or sausage persecution.

Is that so much to ask?

–Billy Bratzenbier

Sure enough, a nineteen year old genius decided to rob a hot dog stand at gunpoint. That’s outrageous behavior and is totally unacceptable. Not only is it unlawful, it also violates a sacred trust. In Chicago, places like Maxwell Street Polish are part of our heritage, part of our culture and part of what makes this city great. All we ask for is the freedom to buy, sell and consume sausage products without fear of violence, ridicule or sausage persecution. Is that so much to ask?

The Ugly: Hot Dog Robber Shoots Privates

We go back to the New York Daily News article for this one. Their headline cannot possibly be improved upon: “Man robbing hot dog stand shoots himself in the sausage.”

Despite the seriousness of the subject matter, the brief article is a great read!